Continuing in the top ten intrusive questions rigmarole, I have another fun statement for you. Time and time again people would begin their insanity with something along the lines of this: “I know this guy who knows a guy whose sister adopted from foster care and…” Off they would plummet into insane stories, all horrible, of kids who had ruined the lives of their parents, their neighbors, and every living thing within a 10 mile radius.
Many people were the brilliant masterminds of these types of comments but I must say, my in-laws were the best. They know this one family, ONE family I say, who adopted a kiddo who turned out to be a disaster. He actually burned the house down. This family lives across the pasture from my in-laws and they really have suffered at the hands of their child. BUT, I did not need to hear about that every single time we talked about adopting from foster care.
Hubby and I were discussing this particular post earlier and it occurred to us both that his parents had a story they weren’t telling. The entire time they were attempting to haunt us with the one bad family, there was the story across the dirt road. One of my husband’s cousins, yes, his own relative, was adopted. Of her immediate family, she is the shining star. She is the only person in that family that my in-laws don’t talk trash about. How she made it out alive is a mystery to us all. Yet, throughout our adoption process I had NO IDEA that she was adopted. No one felt the need to delve into the wonder that is adoption. It was only fun to torture me with the horrors.
I’d also like to point out that most people with these stories know their fair share of crazy lunatics that are as biological as the day is long. You’ll never hear the stories of those crazies. People can’t point out your obvious insanity at wanting to adopt from foster care with stories of out-of-control bio kids.
I actually had a random woman tell me that her aunt was threatened by her adopted foster kid with a knife. So naturally, her aunt “gave the kid back”. I’m not sure what that story was meant to do. She told me the story after I told her that my sons were adopted from the system. Did she want me to “give the kids back”?
Throughout this series of intrusive questions I seem to find myself coming back to the old adage, Think Before You Speak. I have yet to understand the intentions of those who tell horror stories. Quite honestly, it makes as much sense to me as do all the women who think it’s great fun to tell me how terrible their labor was because I’m pregnant. It’s like a constant game of Scare the Pregnant Lady. People quite honestly need to find some other way to entertain themselves.
Oh, hubby would like me to tell you that No Living Things Were Harmed by an Adopted Foster Child During the Making of this Post.